why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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