I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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