Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
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