Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
