zippers are such a cool invention
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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