yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
