Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
