i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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