i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
