apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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