We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I skipped work to stalk him.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize