You made me cry and you don't even care
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
