i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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