He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
