Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
