Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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