Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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