He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
