Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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