dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Randomize
