My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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