there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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