i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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