Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
