dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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