My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
