In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
