Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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