if you like me you must not know who I am
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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