I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
