He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I am mentally ready for anal.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
