He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Enjoy the penises
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
