Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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