A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
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The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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