so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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