Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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