pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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