Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
