did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
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She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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