I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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