If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
