Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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