I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
this boner is exhausting
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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