My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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