It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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