I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
