they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We just shotgunned beers for America
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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