p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
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He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
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FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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