Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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