I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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