You really coming over, don't trick.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
