I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
