I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
