Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize