Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
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