He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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