the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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