like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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