The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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