A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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