I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
