beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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