i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
