3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
