I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
