hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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